How am I being hostile? I'm just tired of being downvoted every single time I mention that JavaScript is necessary on the modern web, and attempts to avoid it are quixotic at best.

That link is not nearly as convincing as you seem to think it is. I suppose that I will need to refute the points if I want you to stop sharing it, so here we go:

A browser extension has interfered with the site - okay? That can be true of literally anything. An extension can interfere with View Transitions too.

A spotty connection hasn’t loaded the dependencies correctly - Either they load or they don't. How would the dependencies load "incorrectly"? Does this author know how JavaScript works?

Internal IT policy has blocked dependencies - How? Are they bundled? Does this author still think modern websites load things like jQuery from a CDN? What year is it? (WYII from this point on, for the sake of brevity)

WIFI network has blocked certain CDNs - WYII

A user is viewing your site on a train which has just gone into a tunnel - The CSS and HTML won't load either!

A device doesn’t have enough memory available - WYII???

There’s an error in your JavaScript - and, you don't have any tests? You didn't notice when developing the site? Can you not have errors in your CSS? Sure, an error in JS is worse, but that doesn't mean you should never use it.

An async fetch request wasn’t fenced off in a try catch and has failed - This usually wouldn't change anything. fetch failures are rarely actual errors (even a 500 response doesn't result in an exception), and it's async so it wouldn't affect the initial load.

A user has a JavaScript toggle accidentally turned off - The <noscript> tag exists.

A user uses a JavaScript toggle to prevent ads loading - <noscript>

An ad blocker has blocked your JavaScript from loading - Modern ad blockers are URL based. How are they loading literally anything else from my domain?

A user is using Opera Mini - No, they aren't.

A user has data saving turned on - Okay... And!??!?!

Rogue, interfering scripts have been added by Google Tag manager - Do I really need to explain how module scoping works here?

The browser has locked up trying to parse your JS bundle - This literally doesn't happen.

Stitch together lots of little HTML pages with navigations for interactions